Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
