Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
