btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
