I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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