It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it glows. i had to have it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
