I'm drive I can fine osifer
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
