i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
