fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
