Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
