I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Let's get the cat blown out
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize