What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize