YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
