ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
