I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
PANTIES FOUND
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