My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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