i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
