if you like me you must not know who I am
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
