I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
