I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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