My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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