I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
