Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
