I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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