just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
