Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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