Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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