Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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