Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
