My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
