Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
