I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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