is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
