Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
