These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
