he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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