Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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