i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize