$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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