This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
