youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
