Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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