Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
