are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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