Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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