"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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