Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
