i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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