Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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