you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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