Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
