he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
