just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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