just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
