Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
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