I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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