Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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