What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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