I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
