My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
